Adventure

My solo day today was spent on Angel’s Rest in the Gorge. The hike up was awesome but not as satisfying as I’d hoped. I wanted to talk to God the whole way up - like one would a friend one is hiking with - but kept fantasizing about things instead. I have a problem with my imagination; it’s always running away with me.

One thing was established on the way up. During 4th of July weekend, I believe God gave me a hint of something my future may hold. However, it’s a long way off, if it ever happens at all. I can’t disclose what, exactly, He has told me but I can tell you that it scares me. Not in a “that’s a horrible thing I hope it never happens!” way but in a “Is that even possible?” way. But with the knowledge that He may call me to something I see as impossible, I know that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.

On our way up to Angel’s Rest I told Him, “I will go.” To which He responded, “Be still.”

The God of heaven and earth is the most exasperating individual in all of eternity! It seems to me as though that is the most frequent answer to all my prayers. Sometimes I want to ask, “What is this ‘Be still’ crap?”

Thankfully “Be still” is not the same thing as “Do nothing.” For now I will “Be still” while continuing to do ministry through YD Adventures, finding a part time job to pay off my debt, and serving the Lord in other small but meaningful ways. I can only do the things He has set before me to do and wait until He tells me to take the next step.

I’ll tell you one thing; my life has not ceased being an adventure since I gave it to Christ. It’s not always easy or fun but it’s frequently challenging and always worth living. Jesus did, after all, tell us that He came so we could have life to the full (John 10:10).

But that takes believing in and following Jesus. God created us for Himself and so we can never have life to the full as long as we are living it for ourselves. “Be still,” He tells us, “and know that I am God.” What does it mean to know He is God? It means to understand that He is Lord and Creator, that He holds all power and all our rights, that He is the author of our faith and the inventor of grace, that He is love, and then to respond by bending our knees and bowing our heads in surrender and proclaiming, “He is God!”

I write this and at the same time realize that I have to go through this process daily. I am only human and it is a struggle to give up my selfishness and let Christ rule in my heart. But I would rather have God’s adventure for my life than my own selfish ways any day.

Proverbs 17:4

“An evildoer listens to wicked lips, a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.” Proverbs 17:4

One thing I am constantly reminded of as I go through Proverbs every month is how human I am. Every day I read something about the wicked doing this or a fool is that way, and half the time I am reminded of myself. Yikes!

One example is:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

I am very bad at controlling my temper. I often say things I regret. I know this, yet the next time I get angry I will once again say something in such a way that will piss someone off or hurt their feelings. Why? Where is my self-control in these situations?

“The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

Yeah, I have a big mouth. I’ve gotten myself in trouble many times for my big mouth.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is one who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15

How many times have a rejected what friends or others have said to me, without even really listening, because I so strongly felt that I was right? More often then I can count!

The first Proverb typed above is today’s reminder of my humanness. As I read it every month, it has called attention to one of the ways I react when I speak with friends. If a friend is sharing her woes with me, complaining about a coworker or another friend, I tend to talk big. “You shouldn’t put up with that type of treatment,” I say. Or, “I’d give that person a piece of my mind.”

The opposite is also true. If I am sharing my woes with a friend, she will usually also talk big. (The same “You shouldn’t put up with that; I’d give that person a piece of my mind” etc). And I listen to it!

Really? Am I Christian or do I subscribe to the juvenile idealism of “fairness“?

All we’re really doing is sewing strife into one another’s hearts (Proverbs 15:18). If this is true, how are we really supposed to react? What sort of counsel should we actually be striving to give and receive?

I guess that takes us to what Jesus said.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven…” Matthew 5:44-45a.

Or what Paul, inspired by God, said:

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Eph 4:1-3

Or what possibly another disciple (also inspired by God) said:

“…and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds…” Hebrews 10:24.

While Proverbs is pointing out my humanness, it is also giving me hope. Just yesterday I read, “He who gives attention to the word shall find good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.” Proverbs 16:20.

I fully believe that the Holy Spirit is working in me to convict me of my sins and inconsistencies so I can continue to grow in my relationship with the Lord. That’s a good thing. That makes me happy.